Life is a Gift for the Soul of a Sincere

Who lived in the mountains missed the beach.
Who lived on the coast miss the mountains.

In the dry season, missed the rainy season.
In the rainy season, missed dry season.

The black-hair admire the blonde.
The blonde-hair admire the black.

Stay at home, miss traveling.
After traveling, homesick.

Quiet time looking crowd.
When busy looking for tranquility.

When a single, want to have a handsome husband or a beautiful wife.
Once it can be handsome husband or a beautiful wife, want a mediocre, because jealousy or fear make cheating.

Got a kid crave many children.
Have many children crave one child.

We are never happy because everything looks beautiful just before possessed.
But once possessed no longer beautiful.

When happiness will be obtained if we just always think of what is not there, however ignore what has been held without a sense of gratitude?
”May we become the person you were always grateful for the blessings that we already have”
Do not close our eyes, though only by a small leaf.
Do not cover our hearts, even if only with a negative thought.
If our hearts are closed, all is covered.
Grateful for what is there, because life is a boon for the souls who are sincere.

Story of a Blind Girl

One day there was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. Not just for herself, but she also hated everyone except her boyfriend. He was always there for her. He said he would marry that girl if that girl was able to see the world.
 
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to the girl, who she was finally able to see everything, including the girl's lover.

He asked her girlfriend happily, "Honey, now you can already see the world. Do you want to marry me..?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind. And she refused to marry her boyfriend who so far has been very loyal once accompanied her during the girl's blind eyes.

And finally the man was going to shed a tear, then write a brief letter to the girl, "Honey, you please take good care of the eyes that I gave you." The girl was crying and realized her folly, how great the sacrifice her lover during this time, but he had left with injured heart...

The story above shows how the human changes when his/her status changes. Few people remember what life was before, and even fewer remember to whom to thank you for accompanying and supporting even in the most painful situations.

Do You Build Bridge or Fence

Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a conflict.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on the older brother’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s tool box.

“I’m looking for a few days’ work.” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with?”

“Yes.” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor; in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll do him one better.”

“See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence (an 8-foot fence) so I won’t need to see his place or his face anymore.”

The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.

The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward them, his arms outstretched — “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand.

They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder.

“No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.

“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but I have many more bridges to build.”

A Suicidal Coward

A young man was standing thoughtfully on a bridge. The currents of the river below were strong. With a far-away look in his eyes, he would sometimes sigh. He was frustrated and desperate. Then a thought arose in him, “I am very rich. I have known all the pleasures of this world. I have visited the most beautiful places, tasted the most delicious foods, and enjoyed all the pleasures that money could buy. Yet I am very unhappy now. My family is falling apart. My children died and my wife left me. I cannot stand it any longer. Although I still have my wealth, my heart is so empty and I suffer a lot.” He intended to commit suicide by jumping into the raging water.

When he was about to do it, a filthy beggar approached him, “Sir, please give me some money to buy some food. I will pray for your health and long life.” Hearing this, he took out the wallet from his pocket. He took all his money and gave it to the beggar, “Take all of this,” he said. “All of this?” the beggar repeated. He could not believe his luck. “Yes, take it all. I am going to a place where I won’t need it any more,” said the man. He looked back at the river below.

The beggar felt something was wrong in this man’s attitude. After looking at the money and holding it for a while, he hurriedly returned it and said, “No, I won’t take it. I am a beggar but I am not a coward. I don’t want to receive any money from a coward! Bring your money with you to the river.” He walked away quickly, shouting “Goodbye, Mr Coward!”

Hearing what the beggar said, the man was very shocked. The satisfaction and happiness of giving his money to the beggar disappeared instantly. He really wanted the beggar to accept his money before he committed suicide, but the beggar refused it. At that moment, he suddenly realized that the feeling that he felt just now, the good feeling coming from giving others in need, had given him happiness! It was a new feeling and experience for him. He looked at the river one more time, turned around, and walked away – trying to catch up with the beggar. He wanted to thank him and tell him that he did not want to be a coward. He promised himself that he would keep struggling to attain happiness by giving those in need.

It is a shame to see someone end his life by committing suicide, especially over a simple matter. Courage should be put in the right place. Life will be more respectable if we have “the courage to live” rather than “the courage to die.” What is the reason behind this? Life is a responsibility! As warriors, no matter what kind of battles we are going to face, we must have the confidence that we have the responsibility to come to the finish line! We have the duty to carry on. Regardless of the results, the true enjoyment lies on the struggling process. The satisfaction will even be greater if the results are also beneficial for others.

How meaningful our life is if we can give something to others. It is one of our responsibilities as a human being. If we truly understand this and do it sincerely, the success we gain will even be more valuable. This way, when we meet challenges, our mentality is already well trained so that we can face them courageously. So, let us restraint from dying a coward and fill our life with the courage to live as a warrior. Life is worth living.

An Inscription On The Sand

Two boys were on the beach. They were running, joking, and playing cheerfully. Suddenly, there was an intense argument between them. Then the bigger boy hit the other boy so hard that his face was badly bruised. Being hit, the smaller one was completely shocked. With tears in his eyes, he tried hard to hold his anger and sobs. Then, without saying a word he took a stick and made an inscription on the sand: “Today my friend hit me.”

His friend felt a little bit uneasy. He was embarrassed but did not say anything. Silence fell between them for a while. However, as what children always do, soon they reconciled and played together again. When they were chasing each other, out of carelessness, the little boy fell into a hole made to trap animals. “Help … Please help me!” he shouted in fear.

His friend looked into the hole. “Are you alright, my friend? Don’t be afraid. Wait a minute. I will find a rope and help you out.” Immediately the boy ran, trying to find a rope to help him. When he came back, he tied the rope to a tree while shouting to calm him down. “My friend, I am here. I have tied one end of the rope to a tree, and now I will throw the other end to you. Catch it and tie it tightly around your waist. I will pull you out.”

Finally, he managed to pull his little friend out of the hole safely. The little boy, with tears in his eyes, said, “Thank you very much, my friend.” Then immediately he ran to find a big rock and make an inscription there. “Today, my friend saved me.”

His friend who had followed him was puzzled. “Why did you write on the sand after I hit you? And why did you write on a rock after I saved you?” Patiently, the small boy answered, “After you hit me, I wrote on the sand because I wanted to get rid of my anger and hatred as soon as possible. Just like the inscription on the sand, it will soon be washed away by the waves and wind. However, after you saved me, I made an inscription on the rock because I want to remember your good deed forever. I have carved it in my heart. Once again, thank you, my friend.”

Hearing the explanation, the bigger boy felt very sorry. Hugging his friend, he said, “I must thank you too, my friend. You are younger, but you are wiser than me.” Soon they continued playing. Their friendship was stronger with time.

Dear Wise Readers,

Living with burdens of hatred, anger, and grudge is certainly not mentally healthy. Particularly, if the person we hate did not mean to make us angry and he did not know that he had hurt us. Our energy is wasted. This negative thought is going to torment us so much that we cannot sleep soundly and we will lose our appetite. In brief, it will destroy us physically and mentally.

Giving pardon never harms us. Instead, it will free us from hatred and grudge. A sincere apology will cool down any heated heart and emotion.

When somebody hurts us, writing his or her fault on the sand or in the air is worth practicing. Soon, it will be blown by the wind. We will not waste our energy grudging and we will not lose our chance to be happy.

On the other hand, when somebody is good to us, no matter how small and simple his or her kindness is, we must remember it as if we made an inscription on a rock. Remembering others’ good deeds will make our life full of good spirit and gratitude. 

A Glass of Water

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 300mili-litres to 600mili-litres.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

The Carrot, The Egg, and The Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied. The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened! The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Heart of a Mother

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom. The king loved his people very much. He governed wisely and he always hoped that all his people lived peacefully and happily. One day, the king became restless because he heard that there was an unhappy mother in his kingdom. For many years this mother had never laughed. She lived her life with a gloomy and anxious face. Although so much had been done to make her laugh, nothing worked.

This old mother had two children. Both of them were successful merchants. The older one sold umbrellas, while the younger one sold shoes. When the rainy season came, the old mother was worried about her second son’s business. “Will his shoes sell well?” On the other hand, when the dry season came, she was worried about her first son’s business. “Will his umbrellas sell well?” Always with this way of thinking which was full of worry and anxiety, she could not laugh. How could she be happy?

The king called all his ministers to help the old mother. “Announce that the king will give a special present to whoever can make her laugh.” he said.

A cheerful, funny minister directly volunteered. The king ordered him to start right away. A meeting with the old woman was arranged. With a happy and smiling face, the minister introduced himself to the old woman. Then, he came closer to whisper on her ear. How amazing! As soon as she heard the words of the minister, the woman’s face changed! She looked cheerful and even started to smile. Later she burst out giggling happily.

The king and all the audience were surprised. “What has he told her?” they wondered. The minister answered, “Very simple, Your Majesty. I just told her, ‘When the rainy season comes, remember your first son’s umbrellas which will sell very well. Imagine how much profit he gets, and how happy his family is. And when the dry season comes, remember your second son’s shoes which will sell very well. Imagine your second son counting the profit he earns.” I also told her to think of what sells well, not of what does not sell. I asked her to think of good things only. God always blesses his children as long as they are grateful and can appreciate His blessings.”

The king felt very happy to see the woman’s happy face. He gave the minister a present. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I did not expect to get this. I was just happy to help a wise and loving king like you. May God give you health and long life!” said the minister gratefully as the king gave him the present with a smile.

Dear Happy Readers,

Sometimes we just see things from the negative point of view. As a result, we fall victim to this narrow and shallow way of thinking. Things viewed negatively will affect our mind so that the negative things overpower the positive.

When we fail and we forget that we have experienced successes, then our mental strength weakens. We lose our energy and motivation in life. A small trivial problem looks so big and hard. A small mistake, which is actually so easy to correct, becomes a thorn in the flesh. Because of this wrong view, the enormous energy we are endowed with will sink.

Therefore, we need to change our way of thinking. We must see life from different angles. We must understand that the wheel of life always turns around. When we are in trouble or failure, let us recall those successes we had! That way, our enormous energy will keep burning to help us go on struggling. Don’t ever quit.

The ability to see everything from positive sides will enable us to go from darkness to brightness. The negative will be replaced by the positive. The anxious restlessness will change to a happy state. Actually, in facing this ever-changing life, everything will be OK as long as we have the wisdom or mental wealth. We shall be real winners!

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Leadership is Not About Position!


Judul di atas mungkin sudah tidak asing lagi bagi Anda. Di beberapa buku, seminar mengenai kepemimpinan, banyak sekali dibahas tentang hal ini. Akan tetapi realita yang ada masih banyak pemimpin yang menganggap bahwa posisi adalah segalanya; masih menganggap bahwa dengan posisi seorang pemimpin bebas melakukan apa saja karena merasa memiliki kuasa atas orang lain. Saya terkadang tak bisa berkata-kata ketika mendengar berita bahwa seorang pejabat atau kepala instansi atau orang yang merasa dirinya ‘penting’ melakukan tindak kekerasan atau bertindak seenaknya kepada orang lain dengan mengatasnamakan pangkat dan jabatan.

Mungkin masih lekat di ingatan kita dimana seorang petugas bandara yang mendapat perlakuan yang kurang menyenangkan dari salah seorang penumpang yang lagi lagi merasa memiliki posisi yang penting dan merasa bebas mau melakukan apa saja. Kita mungkin kerap mendengar ciri-ciri pemimpin yang mengatakan “Anda tidak tahu siapa saya?”, “Saya bisa melakukan apapun dengan pangkat saya ini, kamu tahu?” Yang mau diperlihatkan dari perkataan tersebut bukan lagi kompetensi sebagai pemimpin melainkan lebih cenderung kepada kekuasaan dan tingginya pangkat yang pemimpin ini mungkin miliki.

Lain lagi ceritanya dalam konteks perusahaan, terkadang peserta saya mengatakan, "Harusnya atasan saya juga di-training tentang leadership pak, karena yang bermasalah sepertinya dia bukan kami." Komentar ini menurut saya cukup berani, dan menimbulkan keingintahuan saya lebih dalam. Maka saya menanyakan, "Memang ada apa dengan pemimpin Anda..?" Peserta ini menceritakan bagaimana pemimpin di perusahaannya begitu angkuh, hanya semata-mata berpangkat seorang direktur. Penyataan yang tidak perlu keluar dari mulut seorang pemimpin terkadang terlontar begitu saja, "Saya punya kuasa untuk kehidupan karier kamu di perusahaan ini!" Jika pemimpin tersebut hanya staf, apakah mungkin pernyataan tersebut keluar? Rasanya tidak mungkin, karena yang ada di benaknya hanyalah berorientasi pada pangkat dan jabatan. Karena saya seorang fasilitator, maka banyak mendengar hal demikian dari peserta saya. Entah bagaimana dengan Anda; apakah Anda juga merasakan atau melihat hal serupa di sekeliling Anda?

Tentunya ini menjadi catatan penting bagi seorang pemimpin atau calon pemimpin. Terlepas apapun jabatan Anda saat ini, mau itu direktur, kepala divisi, pemilik perusahaan, manager, supervisorsekalipun, leadership bukan soal jabatan atau posisi. Orang tidak melihat apa yang tertera di kartu nama Anda, melainkan orang melihat apa yang Anda lakukan terhadap tim, pengaruh apa yang Anda berikan kepada tim, cara berpikir Anda sebagai seorang pemimpin.

It’s about mindset

Banyak orang jabatannya pemimpin tapi cara berpikirnya belum sebagai pemimpin. Saya teringat sebuah percakapan ringan yang terjadi beberapa tahun silam, seorang staf menanyakan kepada pimpinan departmen, “Apa yang dibutuhkan untuk menjadi manager, Pak?” Pemimpin departmen ini dengan lugasnya menjawab, "Berpikirlah layaknya manager mulai dari sekarang." Belajar dari tokoh pemimpin besar bagaimana mereka berpikir dan bertindak. Semua pemimpin inspirasional tidak pernah membanggakan jabatannya, melainkan mereka bangga bisa melayani, bisa memiliki tim yang sukses, dan bisa bekerja sama denga tim yang hebat. Justru pemimpin yang belum matang, menomorsatukan pangkatnya di atas segala-galanya.

It’s about influence

John C Maxwell dengan tegas mengatakan bahwa, “Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowchartsIt is about one life influencing another.” Kepemimpinan bukan soal jabatan, posisi atauflowchart di organisasi Anda. Kepemimpinan adalah persoalan memengaruhi orang lain. Ketika orang merasa tergerak untuk berbuat sesuatu/berkontribusi positif karena kepemimpinan Anda maka sebetulnya Anda sudah memberikan pengaruh yang positif untuk orang tersebut. Pengaruh atau ancaman yang mau ditebar oleh pemimpin adalah pilihan. Bukan seberapa indah kata-kata yang pemimpin susun dalam setiap pengarahan, pidato atau meeting yang dilihat oleh tim, melainkan seberapa besar pengaruh positif yang mau disebar kepada timnya. Ingat, "People follow people, not position.” Orang mengikuti sosok pemimpinnya, bukan posisinya.

It’s about action

Jangan bicara ketepatan waktu kalau sebagai pemimpin belum menjadi contoh. Jangan bicara memberi pelayanan baik kepada pelanggan kalau sebagai pemimpin belum memberi contoh memberikan pelayanan yang baik pula kepada tim. Apapun tindakan/action yang dilakukan oleh pemimpin dijadikan acuan bagi pengikutnya untuk menghargai atau mencibir pemimpinnya.

Saya pernah mendengar seorang pemimpin yang cemas dan takut dibicarakan hal yang buruk di belakang oleh timnya. Kiat saya sederhana, jika seorang pemimpin mau tahu apa yang dibicarakan timnya di belakang, introspeksi perilaku dan tindakan yang dilakukan sehari-hari kepada mereka. Kalau Anda melakukan hal yang baik mungkin orang akan bercerita kepada 2-3 orang, tapi kalau Anda melakukan hal yang tidak baik, orang mungkin akan bercerita kepada 6-10 orang. Apa yang Anda katakan dan apa yang Anda jalankan haruslah sejalan. Mau jadi pemimpin seperti apakah Anda?

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Two Frogs In The Milk



This is the story of two frogs. One frog was fat and the other skinny. One day, while searching for food, they inadvertently jumped into a vat of milk. They couldn't get out, as the sides were too slippery, so they were just swimming around.

The fat frog said to the skinny frog, "Brother frog, there's no use paddling any longer. We're just going to drown, so we might as well give up." The skinny frog replied, "Hold on brother, keep paddling. Somebody will get us out." And they continued paddling for hours.

After a while, the fat frog said, "Brother frog, there's no use. I'm becoming very tired now. I'm just going to stop paddling and drown. It's Sunday and nobody's working. We're doomed. There's no possible way out of here." But the skinny frog said, "Keep trying. Keep paddling. Something will happen, keep paddling." Another couple of hours passed.

The fat frog said, "I can't go on any longer. There's no sense in doing it because we're going to drown anyway. What's the use?" And the fat frog stopped. He gave up. And he drowned in the milk. But the skinny frog kept on paddling.

Ten minutes later, the skinny frog felt something solid beneath his feet. He had churned the milk into butter and he hopped out of the vat.

Moral of The Story

Never give up on your dream. Perseverance is all important. If you don't have the desire and the belief in yourself to keep trying after you've been told you should quit, you'll never make it. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again!

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Sun Tzu: Win First, Fight Later

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” ~Sun Tzu

True winners already won the minute they have decided, without having to go to war. Ordinary people must go to war first before they can win. Defeated people are those who have lost before even going to war. We all want to be winners who can predict the outcome of war positively, create a winning mindset even before the battle starts, and continuously win any war in the future.

Predicting the outcome of war favorably may not be as easy as it sounds. However, we can do so if we are confident enough that we have the spirit, the strategy, the knowledge, and the skill required to tackle any obstacle. In short, if we have the confident and positive attitude early from the beginning based upon our strengths and proper strategies, we can be sure that life is going to be kind to us.

And there is only one prediction outcome: Winning. Even when things start with the wrong foot, because nothing is unfixable. Even when the economy is slow, there are many things to try and experiment because nothing is written in stone. A country’s economic condition is a collective representation of individual economic conditions.

Creating a winning mindset even before the battle starts is already winning half the battle. It may sound cliché but it has been proven for many centuries or even millennia. All successful individuals are aware of this mindset. Thomas Alva Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, Winston Churchill, Confucius, Anthony Robbins, Jack Cranfield, Joe Vitale, JK Rowling, Oprah Winfrey and many others are impressive role models of successful individuals, who endured hardships.

Without a winning mindset, it is almost impossible to be a winner. Why? Because we project our beliefs inside. Beliefs greatly affect our thoughts and actions. For instance, those who lack self-confidence are likely to project such outer appearance and would be hard to earn respect from others. Those with strong confidence are likely to naturally receive respect from others quite effortlessly.

The world works this way: if you respect yourself, you are likely to get respect from others too. This way, opportunities would come your way. Winning is very likely.

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Happiness Comes First

Why are successful people happy? Is it because they are rich and famous? How about those who aren’t rich and famous? Can we also be successful so we can enjoy happiness?

The thing is, many people have mistaken that being successful is the requirement for happiness. One actually should be happy first before they can achieve magnificently utilizing their potential. Happiness is not the end or the destination. Happiness is actually the manner of travel, the way of the journey, and the vessel that would transport us to success.

The fact is: Happy people are likely to be successful. Because when people are dealing with happy and positive individuals, they feel happier and accepted. Positivity is contagious.

When you are applying for a job, an employer is likely to hire happy and positive individual –other than looking for appropriate skill sets. As a friend, you also need to show supportive qualities as well.

Overall, as a leader of large and small organizations, nothing would matter more than encouraging messages. This means, happy leaders would lead with positive aura and deliver positive outcomes, assuming other matters are also handled professionally.

So, what are you waiting for? Be happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. And happiness comes first. Remember.